Posted by: Kathy | June 8, 2009

Was there a message in my dream?

Do you believe that dreams can sometimes bring answers? Can a dream be more than just a “story” of sorts?

I had a very restless night last night. I’d fall asleep for an hour or less and then wake up for no apparent reason. This happened over and over again throughout the night. I’ve had nights like this before and they are usually very frustrating. But something special happened last night and even though I kept waking up, I was at peace. I had a dream that I actually remembered, and in my dream I was talking to my mom.

This is only the second dream I’ve had of my mom since she died. I don’t remember my dreams easily. Usually I wake up with random pictures or sounds floating in my mind, but nothing that really makes any sense. Sometimes I wake up with intense feelings, maybe sadness or fear, happiness or relief, but the pictures associated with these feelings are gone. The first dream I had of my mom happened about two and a half months after she died. The dream was filled with a lot of different people, talking, walking around, and I remember that I was talking about work. I noticed my mom and dad sitting on a bench that was attached to a wall and they were talking about my mom’s illness. I started walking toward them but I woke up before I got to them.

Last night I awoke with a sense of peace. It was dark in the room and I knew I hadn’t been asleep for long. It wasn’t the first time I had woken up since closing my eyes to go to sleep. But I didn’t feel frustrated at not being able to stay asleep and I started thinking about why I felt at peace. Images from a dream started coming to mind. I don’t remember much, but what I do remember is enough.

In this dream, we were sitting on a bench in a park, or somewhere like that, and it was a sunny day. There were only two people in this dream, me and my mom. There she was, sitting next to me, close enough to touch, beautiful and healthy. She was my mom again, full of life and grace, the way I remembered her before the cancer came and left its mark. I had a notepad and pen, and I wrote down what she was telling me. I was making a list for my mom of the names of people and what she wanted to give them after she was gone.  

This may seem like a very strange dream to bring me peace, but I understand why it did. First and most importantly, I saw my mom again and I had the chance to talk to her, to hear her voice,  although I don’t remember it distinctly from the dream. Also, there may be a message in this dream. My mom had a lot of jewelry, costume and real, and she would always wear a necklace, earrings, and maybe even a pin when she went to work or out somewhere. I have most of her rings, but the rest of the jewelry is where it was when she died. Yesterday, my dad gave one of her pendants to a close family friend and mentioned to me that he’d like to give some of my mom’s jewelry to people who were special her as a remembrance of my mom. I agreed that it would be a nice thing to do, but the thought of this also hurt because it’s another reminder that my mom is really gone. This also struck me as odd because I feel weird taking my mom’s stuff, let alone giving something of hers to someone else. Although deep inside, I know this is what my mom would have wanted. She gave me a lot of her rings before she died because I love wearing rings and she wanted me to have them. Just as she would want those who were close to her to have something that was once special to her. And my dream “confirmed” this for me in a way, because in the dream I felt like I was doing something very important for my mom, something that she needed and wanted me to do.

Almost 24 hours later, I still feel a sense of peace when I think of the dream and as I write this. I can picture my mom and I sitting together. When I think of my mom sitting on that bench, I see white and lightly colored, delicate flowers, like this what she was wearing as a shirt or sweater. I can feel my mom’s love and a feeling of peace coming from her. For just a moment, I was with my mom again. Although this dream was very short, it was really special to me.

As I mentioned, I don’t often remember my dreams, so I have a few questions.

For people who’ve lost loved ones, do you dream of them?  What types of dreams do you have?

For those who interpret the meaning of dreams, is there more to my dream than what I wrote, a deeper meaning?


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