Posted by: Kathy | July 26, 2009

Taking the Good With the Bad

At times in life, really good things or very happy times are interlaced with something that’s not so good or maybe even just plain awful. When my son, Matt, got his black belt in TaeKwonDo last November, it was a very happy time for us. He had worked so hard toward this accomplishment and I was so proud of him and very happy for him. But then as I wrote in my last post, my mom, his grandmother, died less than a day later. A very happy time was interlaced with something very sad. I felt bad for my son because he had to deal with his grandmother’s death at the time of his biggest accomplishment. And age at 9, I’m not quite sure what he felt about the whole situation, and having to deal with both extremes of happiness and sadness at the same time. I did my best to support him.

Yesterday, my son tested for his next level of black belt – first degree decided. This is also a big accomplishment because getting this belt means that he is no longer a probationary black belt. He did very well at testing and passed all the requirements. Tomorrow he will be presented with a new black belt, with his name printed on it in English and Korean. It was a good day, a happy time for us. Of course I thought of my mom during testing yesterday and wished she could have been there to see it. But her spirit and her love are always with us.

This morning I got a call from my son’s biological father. His girlfriend has been battling ovarian cancer for about 6 years now and has only a few weeks left to live. So he couldn’t pick up Matt today and talked to him about what was going on. I know this information is upsetting to my son because it’s upsetting to me as well. I don’t want to see her die and I feel really bad about what she’s dealing with. But once again, a very happy time in my son’s life has been “marred” by something sad. And once again, it’s cancer.

Matt is a very sensitive person and he cares deeply for people. His last two accomplishments in TaeKwonDo have been “tainted” with effects of cancer. As an adult, this is life at times, and unfortunately it’s life for my son as well. I wish things could be different. I wish that my son, who is just a child, didn’t have to deal with so much “bad” life and could just celebrate the good times and enjoy his accomplishments.

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