Posted by: Kathy | July 27, 2009

Another Life Taken By Cancer

I received a phone call this morning, one that I was hoping not to get. Cancer has taken the life of someone who I knew and cared about – again. In my last post, I wrote about how the girlfriend of my son’s biological father was dying from ovarian cancer and had been given a few weeks to live. She died last night.

I really believed she had a few weeks left and told my son that yesterday. But when my ex-husband’s phone number appeared on my cell phone display at 8:15 this morning, I knew it wasn’t good news. We don’t talk, and he doesn’t call me unless there’s something very important he needs to talk to me about. I feel bad for him, for her, for her daughter, and for my son, who I have yet to tell. I’m going to wait until tomorrow to tell my son. Tonight he gets presented with his next black belt and I don’t want to upset him before then. I don’t want to take away the excitement of a 10 year old on a very special day and destroy it with the reality of life, or more accurately, the reality of cancer.

Cindy had been battling ovarian cancer for several years now, and at one time was pronounced cancer free. But I don’t think that lasted too long. When the cancer came back, it had also metastasized to other areas, an evil thing that cancer does very well. I know Cindy held out hope and tried to fight this. She wanted to live and had a lot to live for. My ex-husband words were that it was just not meant to be. And in my mind I’m thinking that the cancer was just too strong to fight against after it had spread.

Cindy was a good person. She treated my son well and I believe truly loved him. For that, I am grateful. But now I am faced with the task once again of telling my son that cancer took the life of not only someone he knew, but someone he loved. Even though she and my ex-husband weren’t married, she was like a step-mother to my son.

I won’t see my son until tonight, maybe an hour before he gets his new belt. I’m hoping that I can hold it together and focus on the happiness of tonight and my son’s wonderful achievement, instead of breaking into tears when I see him because Cindy has died. It’s ok with his biological father that I wait until tomorrow to tell him. So why not give my son the innocence of one more day in the life of a 10 year old and celebrate what he’s accomplished instead of focusing on what he’s lost.

My thoughts and prayers go out to Cindy’s family and friends, who I know will miss her. Who knows, maybe she’s met my mom in Heaven. Every time she came to pick up my son, Cindy would ask about my mom and how she was doing. Battling cancer herself, she understood what my mom was going through.

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