Posted by: Kathy | May 19, 2011

Birthdays Without My Mom

This Saturday is my birthday, the third one I will celebrate without my mom. May is a difficult month for me, as Mother’s Day is followed closely by my birthday, and on both days I feel my mom’s loss more deeply. In honor of my mom, all the birthdays we celebrated together and as a family, and the love she had for me, I wrote the following poem.

Three years of birthdays without you,
only one wish could there be,
to blow out my candles
and have you standing there beside me.

Three birthdays of missing you.
Three birthdays with a heart of pain.
What I wouldn’t give
to have you in my life again.

I miss your smiling face,
the warmth and love that was you.
Everyone else came first in your life,
it was just something you’d do.

I hope you knew what you meant us,
know how much you are missed.
Do you know how often you’re thought of
or how many times your picture is kissed?

You made an impact on your family,
everlasting and always there.
The heartache I feel from losing you
is at times more than I can bear.

How I wish I could blow out my candles
and have you back in my life.
The roles you played were many,
as grandmother, mother, and wife,

But I know my wish can’t come true,
you will never again stand beside me.
The only way I can see you now
is in pictures, memories, and dreams.

I love you, Mom. Thank you for all the birthdays we shared together. Below is a picture of a special birthday we shared together in 2006. I was 8+ months pregnant with my daughter, and my son is trying to hide behind me as the picture was taken. It was a beautiful, warm day, and our family was all together and happy.

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Responses

  1. Actually I found this a mount ago on my birthday the 3rd without my mother so today im sharing it with my baby sister on her birthday. Thank u so much for this poam it’s beautiful!

    • Hi. So sorry for the delay in responding. I know how hard birthdays and holidays can be. I’m touched you liked my poem. I wish you the best.

  2. Thank you for these incredible memories. I loved reading them.

    • Thanks you for stopping by to read my post and for your kind comment. Take care.

      • Dear Kathy, Today is my 76th birthday – the 4th birthday without my mom. I think it gets harder with each year, not easier. Thank you for your prayer to your mom. It puts into words many of my feelings and it helps. I hope you are doing well. Ann Polanski

        • Hi Ann. In my experience, some things get easier and others can get harder with the passage of time after the loss of a parent. Your comment and my feelings at this moment have given me an idea for a post (to come soon). I do hope things get easier for you and happy belated birthday. Hugs. Kathy

  3. my birthday is tomorrow and 2 years for me -she died 4 days before my birthday I feel your pain

    • Hi Roy: I hope you have a very happy birthday. I know how hard birthdays can be without someone you love, especially a parent. My mom’s funeral was a week before Thanksgiving, so it’s a rough holiday.

  4. That was beautiful , thank you for sharing , I’m about to have my second bday w/out mom and grandparents. It’s funny, last bday I was disappointed not having them here, and this bday I don’t even know what to feel . I feel kinda unexcited, hopefully I’ll figure out how to be happy on my bday.
    I simply loved the pic of u and your mom and family ,. Your family looks sooo sweet , especially your mom. God bless you.

    • Thanks. In 2009, I celebrated my first birthday after losing my mom and all of my grandparents over the previous 8 years. I can still hear my grandmother singing happy birthday over the phone. I am lucky to have a birthday message from my mom and dad on the last birthday I celebrated with my mom. I listen to it every year on my birthday. I’m sorry you lost your mom and grandparents. Sometimes you don’t feel anything, I think that’s the way grief can be. I hope you have a wonderful birthday. Wishing you the best. Take care.

  5. Ugh, so sorry…your pain is palpable. I just celebrated my 3rd birthday without my mother in August. You’re right…the pain never goes away, but that just means the memory of the person is living on.

    Best,

    Sunny and Take Back Teal

  6. It’s good we have those pictures, memories and dreams.

    I actually shared my birthday with my mom, so that I was dreading my first birthday without her. I flew to D.C. to spend the day celebrating the life she led me toward, and her memory. This ended up being the most awesome thing I could have done, for I got to see one of her favorite singers perform one of her favorite songs.

    It’s like magic when I remember. I’m not sure birthday #2 without her will be quite so magical, but the memory of that birthday #1 will hopefully soothe.

    I hope your birthday is happy, and know you’re reserving a space for her in your heart.

    • I too shared my birthday with my mother. She was 88 years old. We were so fortunate to have her in our lives for so long. She passed away April 4 of this year. Such a beautiful poem in remembrance.


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