Posted by: Kathy | November 14, 2011

My Mom Was Right

A little over 8 years ago, I sat across the table from my mom at TGI Friday’s. I was on my lunch break from work. I knew this lunch was not one for just social talk. A few days before, I had told my mom that I did not want to have another child. My son was 4 years old and becoming more independent. My work has always been difficult, often taking up more time than just the typical 8 hour work day. Even though my son is not my husband’s biological child, he was okay with my decision. But my mom was not.

As I sat across the table from my mom, she said that I’d be making a mistake not to have another child, and that this decision was one that I’d regret in the future. She expressed that my son should have a sibling to grow up with. Finally, she told me how much joy children bring to your life and that that joy outweighs the hard work and stress associated with raising a child. At that point in my life, I was stressed and nearly burned out due to many things. Maybe she could see that in my eyes or hear it in my voice. In my mom’s eyes I saw a deep sadness, and it surprised me. Tears slid down her cheeks as she told me how worried she was about her mother, who was in her 90s and starting to fail more quickly in many ways. My mom always kept her feelings very close to her heart and never let anything less than happiness show on the outside. The true sadness I saw on my mom’s face surprised me, and I had no idea how to comfort her. During that lunch, I promised my mom I would reconsider my decision not to have another child.

Obviously, I changed my mind, giving birth to my daughter in 2006. My grandmother passed away about 6 months before Nikki was born, so I gave my daughter a second middle name in honor of my grandmother. My mom and dad were thrilled with the birth of another grandchild. They loved both their grandchildren and cherished the time they spent with them. One of my biggest regrets is that my mom did not get to have more time with my daughter.

Each night as I fall asleep, I think of my children. I thank God for them and ask Him to watch over them and keep them safe. My mom was right. My children are my heart and my world. They have brought me the greatest joys in my life, as well as the biggest heartaches. I am grateful for my children, and I am glad that I decided to have another child. I cannot imagine my life without both Matt and Nikki, and I am glad that I was able to have a child with my husband. Nikki is Daddy’s little girl.

My mom knew the value of family and she taught it to me. She was right when she said that having another child would add to my life in so many ways. It did. I am very fortunate and have an incredible family, my dad included. I wish my mom were here to see the kids as they are now and how much they’ve changed over the past 3 years. But I believe she comes to visit them because she loves them. You were right, Mom. Thank you.

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