Posted by: Kathy | January 4, 2012

46 Years of Love

In past blogs, I’ve talked about my dad at times and how hard my mom’s death was on him. When my mom died, he lost his wife of over 43 years, his soul mate. As I have mentioned before, the words “I love you” were not often openly spoken in our house while I was growing up, but the love between my parents was visible. During the last few weeks of my mom’s life I worked at my parents’ house during the day so I could be with my mom. One day I was on a conference call and had gone into another room so I wouldn’t disturb my mom. The doors of the room are glass, so I could still see my mom sitting in the chair. At one point, my dad walked in and my mom stood up and just melted into him. They stood there for the longest time just holding onto one another. By that time, it was obvious that my mom was going to die and I believe she was more worried about how my father would cope after her death than her own mortality. That who my mom was – she always put other people and their feelings before her own.

My dad is getting remarried in May. It’s not easy at times seeing my dad with someone else, but I know this is what my mom wanted. She would not have wanted my dad to spend the rest of his life alone. Together, my dad and I went through a lot during my mom’s illness and after her death. He called me his rock, and he was the one I called in tears to talk about my mom before and after her death. All I want for him now is to be happy.

I’ve always wanted to write a blog about my mom and dad. So it’s probably best that I do it now, before my dad gets remarried. My mom and dad were college sweethearts. They met at a dance in February of their first year of college. My mom was visiting friends at another college and they all went to a dance at the college my dad was attending. My dad told me that he had been studying but decided to take a break and check out the dance. He called it fate that he met my mom and how they could have easily never met on that night. I don’t believe in fate or coincidences. I believe that everything happens for a reason. My parents were meant to be together and I believe they fell in love quickly after they met. Because they went to different colleges, they could only see each other on the weekends and over breaks. But their love lasted and they were married shortly after they both graduated from college.

My mom and dad (college years)

My parents did a lot together and a lot with my brother and I when we were growing up. I remember dinners at the kitchen table, something my mom insisted on, trips to so many different places, and Saturday outings after I had gotten married and had kids of my own. We were a family that was always together. My parents shared many similar interests. My dad is still taking care of many of my mom’s orchids and has even purchased plants of his own after she died. But the image that sticks in my mind is my parents sitting at the kitchen table working on the New York Times crossword puzzle in pen.

My parents had been together almost 47 years when my mom died. Like me, I know that my dad will always love and miss my mom. But we also have to keep moving forward in life and this is what my mom would have wanted for both of us. I love you mom and dad. Thank you for making my childhood special and supporting me as I grew into who I am now.

My family (December 2007)

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