Posted by: Kathy | May 9, 2012

No Mom on Mother’s Day

Like many others who have lost their mom, the thought of celebrating Mother’s Day is difficult. Stores and TV commercials are filled with messages about how important it is to give your mom something special on Mother’s Day. Flowers, chocolate covered strawberries, jewelry, or some heartfelt gift to show your mom how much she is appreciated and loved. But I can’t do that, and oh how I wish I could.

Last month I wrote a blog about how hard it is at times to be a mom without a mom. So many times during the last few weeks I’ve wanted to pick up the phone and talk to my mom, to ask for her advice, or just to hear her voice. As Mother’s Day gets closer, these feelings of longing become more intense. My husband recently asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day. I said I didn’t know, because what I really want, what I would give up almost every future gift for, I can’t have. I want to spend time with my mom again as a family. I want her here with us. I want to smile as my mom plays with my daughter or watches my son at his TaeKwonDo class, knowing the love and pride in her heart. I want to be able to give my mom a gift on Mother’s Day and see the smile on her face. But none of this can happen.

My husband already gave me my Mother’s Day gift. Last week there was a silent auction where he works. He bid on and won a purple orchid for me. All the money raised from the auction was donated to the Make a Wish Foundation. Here is a picture of my Mother’s Day gift from my husband:

I believe my mom would have wanted me to have this orchid. She raised orchids and had over 300 plants when she died. Purple is my favorite color and also the color that symbolizes pancreatic cancer.

No matter how I am feeling, I will make the best of Mother’s Day. We will release balloons in memory of my mom, and I will honor her by spending time with my children and appreciating my family and the time we have together. To all those who have a lost a mother and have mixed feelings about Mother’s Day, know that you’re not alone. On Sunday, remember your mom with love.

“All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother” ~ Abraham Lincoln

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Responses

  1. hi here…thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving such a sweet comment.
    even though i know what it is like to lose a parent.. i can not imagine losing my mom..i need my mom when i am sick or having a bad day.. i have even called her because i stubbed my toe! i miss my dad terribly and father’s day is hard.. but i don’t think i would have gotten through that loss without my mom..

    i volunteer for hospice of michigan and on saturday there will be a gathering called “remembering our mothers” and although i will only be passing out refreshments and offering a friendly ear.. i will be thinking of you!

  2. We celebrated my mom’s final Mother’s Day in 2009. She & her 100+ orchids & plants came to live with us after my dad died in May of 2008. Her ovarian cancer caught us all off guard. Her physical in Nov was perfect & she felt wonderful. We made plans for Hospice care & created a bucket list. We walked in the rain barefoot & held a mock college graduation for her. Something she always regretted not attending but instead got married & had me. One night I was trying so hard to get her to eat something. “Cheesecake sounds good.” That was an easy request to fill but she didn’t want to eat it, only talk about it. My daughter & I named all kinds of cheesecake & she licked her lips. My quick witted mom said ” If I knew I was going to die so soon I would have eaten more cheesecake.” I will have a piece of cheesecake this Mother’s Day to honor her.
    I miss her each day but when Mother’s Day, July 6 (her B-day) & my B-day it makes me stop & feel her loss. She would call me on my B-day to remind me of my birth & how it was the happiest day of her life. She did this is on my kid’s B-days as well & the memories of their birth. Oh how I miss those calls.
    Praying for all of the daughters & son’s who are missing their mothers on Mother’s Day, please know you are not alone. Happy Mother’s Day Mommy.I love you.

  3. thanks for this beautiful post. I will have to think of a way to honor my mother on this day.


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