Posted by: Kathy | November 4, 2012

Acknowledging Kindness and Support

On June 18, 2012, letstalkaboutfamily left a message under my most recent post, nominating me for the One Lovely Blog Award. I replied to the message with a thank you, but never acknowledged it in a post. Today, as I was going through the dashboard on my blog, my heart skipped a beat as I realized that I had never publicly acknowledged or thanked letstalkaboutfamily for nominating me for this award. I have no idea what was going on in my life at that time, maybe more than the usual craziness, but it’s no excuse for not acknowledging this award because it means a lot to me. So thank you letstalkaboutfamily for the nomination. Please accept my deepest apologies for the delay.

I have been writing my blog for nearly 4 years now. I started it on my husband’s domain about 3 weeks after my mom died, and then moved it to WordPress several months later for more exposure. I wanted to “meet” people who understood what I was going through. I also wanted to help others, if possible, by writing about my experiences and what I was feeling during my journey of grief and healing. Writing became my outlet and my salvation.

There are many people who have visited my blog and commented over the past few years. Many more than I ever thought would come to a blog about the loss of a parent. This blog has made me realize that I am not alone in my grief, in what I feel, or what I’ve been through. People who take the time to visit and read my posts, those who follow my blog, and readers who have left comments have become a family of sorts to me. You are the ones who truly understand what I’ve been through and what I still feel. You’ve given me support and encouragement during some of my darkest moments. Lifted me up. Warmed my heart. Made me smile. For that I am grateful. Thank you!

I now try to respond to all comments I receive. I used to just respond by email or on the commenter’s blog. But I feel that if you take the time to read my writing (sometimes ramblings) and comment, I should comment back. I appreciate EVERYONE who visits my blog. Thank you for your continued support.

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Responses

  1. Congratulations on your award. That’s amazing. I am glad I stumbled on your blog. I think chronicling the struggles that the loss of a parent brings can really be healing. I lost my mom 23 years ago on this coming Sunday, and I know I never processed that loss well. I was so busy trying to just keep my life afloat and felt so lost that I actually didn’t grieve. I believe it’s what lead to the development of fibromyalgia and a lot of other problems. I basically have a life that doesn’t work very well, and that’s because it’s been constructed on a very faulty foundation. I didn’t heal from my loss. I still don’t even know if healing is possible, but I look at the intervening years and just want to weep at all I’ve lost as a result. That’s sort of the problem. I don’t weep. Occasionally, I cry, but I tried very hard to just keep storming ahead. I had so many just “lost years” in my life. I tell you this because I believe that grieving my loss would have made things better, would have made me healthier, would have made it possible for me to create a life I loved rather than one where I merely managed. Sorry. It’s all sort of coalescing for me, and I hope I’m moving to a point where I can truly heal. I know you never completely heal from the loss of a parent, but this isn’t the way she’s want to be remembered. It’s not the way I want to be, either. Thank you for being so open about your loss, for just blogging along. You don’t pretend that it’s not a real, everyday thing. You just deal with it and keep dealing with it. You don’t hide from it. Congratulations on that even more than on the award. The award merely points out how your blog shows the process of grieving and also how it inspires others to really face their losses. Your words allow others to feel that they can grieve and have a right to grieve as well. Thank you.

    • Hi Janice: Grief is such an odd emotion, experience – not quite sure how to classify it except that grief is very real. Our family was very small but close. I lost 5 family members in 8 years. The death of my grandparents was difficult, but they were older so it wasn’t unexpected. My mom’s illness and death were shocking and there are days when I still can’t believe this has happened. Writing my blog, sharing with others who understand, has been my lifeline at times. I have openly and publicly grieved my mom’s death through my blog. It’s knowing that I am not alone in what I feel that has helped me to keep moving forward. It means a lot to me that people read what I write, sometimes commenting or clicking like. No, I don’t think you completely heal but life keeps moving forward and us along with it. I hope you can find peace in your heart. Put those “lost years” behind you and look to a brighter future one day at a time. I know it’s easier said than done, as I have not completely healed myself. Some days I took things a minute at time to get through the day, hoping the next would be easier. I will be thinking of you on Sunday. I hope the day isn’t too hard for you. Hugs. Take care

  2. Awesome! Congratulations on the “One Lovely Blog Award!” I’m sure most of us can understand the many of lifes hectic moments and overlooking or not responding to posts. Your heart is always in the right place, Kathy. Also, I have a feeling that the healing and understanding that you receive from those that read and post to your blog is one that is felt by the reader and poster themselves. I cannot tell you the number of times when reading your blog, that you remind me to let go of the little things and appreciate my family, friends and loved ones. I thank you for that! You are an absolutely WONDERFUL person and I feel tremendously blessed to know you…My Friend. Love You! Claudia

    ________________________________

    • Thank you, Claudia, for your kind words. Love you, my friend.


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