Posted by: Kathy | December 6, 2012

4 Years of Writing

Four years ago today, I took my husband’s advice and started a blog on his domain about the loss of my mom from pancreatic cancer. I didn’t know what a blog was, and I was sure no one would read what I wrote. I had no idea what to write, so I wrote from the heart. I poured my feelings into words and through those words I have grieved, ranted, yelled, cried, and eventually healed.

This blog is very important me (almost as important as my purple pancreatic cancer bracelet). This blog is a tribute to my mom. Through my blog I have met many friends who understand what I am feeling and going through because, sadly, they have been through something similar. The death of a parent or loved one and the feelings of grief and loss that follow are … . Heartbreaking? Life changing? Pure hell? All of these words would fit, and I can think of so many more. I don’t think there is a word to adequately describe the true effect of loss and grief, especially since their impact affects everyone differently. But a loss is just that, a loss, and it leaves a hole that nothing else can fill.

miss u mom

The loss of my mom was traumatic. Her illness and death are something I will never forget. But I have also been blessed over the past 4 years. I have met some amazing people through my blog. Your “likes” make me smile. Your comments touch my heart. I deeply appreciate that you take the time out of your busy day to read what I write. So from heart I thank you. I hope in some way my writing has helped you, just as you have helped me.

 

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Responses

  1. I think your blog is a great tribute to your mum Kathy.
    It will last forever as an eternal rememberance of her.
    Your words will last for posterity, and as long as they can be found, your mum will never be forgotten.

    The only thing I can think that is maybe worse than losing a parent, is a child or your partner.
    I have no children, so I will be spared that anguish, but I am married, and if my wife was to get ill and die, I honestly don’t know if I would / could cope with that loss.
    After my Dad died, it took me a long long time to be able to give that unconditional love that you have for someone close, even my mum.
    The pain that you talk about and the hole in my life were so all consuming,I had to learn how to do it all over again.
    Now Mum has gone, and I’m getting older, my thoughts are turning to what is to come, as I know it will one day, though as I am older than my wife, she may well have to bear that burden.
    I’m not sure which way round I would prefer as life without her would have no meaning.

    Thank you for you kind comments, they mean a lot and have helped knowing that I’m not the only one that feels this way.
    You take care too x

    • Thank you for your kind words about my blog. I watched as my dad struggled with the loss of his true love. I didn’t grieve for my loss of my mom for the first year because I was so worried about my dad. Eventually we begin to heal, the hurt becomes less, but we never forget those we’ve loved deeply and lost. You’re right, you need to learn to to live again without that person in your life and it’s not easy. I wish you the best. Take care.

  2. I am proud to walk with you on this journey of grief.

    • Thank you Bonnie. Your words warm my heart. I wish we didn’t have to walk on this particular journey, but having friends who understand makes the journey a little easier.

  3. That is so wonderful to have this blog in memory of your Mom. Your stories touch my heart and sometimes bring me tears especially with your amazing poems. You are such a good person for having this blog in rememberance of you dearly missed Mom.

    • Thank you Lilah. I appreciate your kind words. Thanks for taking the time to read what I write and comment. Take care.


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