Posted by: Kathy | March 5, 2013

Sometimes You Just Need Your Mom

When I was 4, you kissed away the tears of scraped elbows and knees.

When I was 14, you tried to help me navigate my teenage years, giving me advice I rarely listened to.

When I was 24, you tried to stop me from making a huge life mistake, but I didn’t listen. Out of that mistake came a lot of heartache and tears, but also my son several years later. You were there to help me pick up the pieces and start over again when my life fell apart. You helped me to raise my son.

When I was 34, I started listening to you. You may not have realized it, and neither did I, but I valued your support and advice.

Now, I am almost 44 and I need you more than ever. In a few months I will celebrate my fifth birthday without you. Hard to believe so much time has gone by.

I still need you, Mom.

 

 

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Responses

  1. Oh how I can relate. I am coming up on a year. There are days I wish I could just call her up and chat. There is no love like a mom’s love.

    • Hi Anna: You’re right, there is no love like a mom’s love. I’m sorry you lost your mom. There are times when I wish I could pick up the phone and hear my mom’s voice. I think of all the times she called me during work hours, and I typed away while she talked, only half listening. I wish I had taken the time to listen more closely. I would give anything to hear my mom’s voice again. I miss her. I hope the year anniversary of your mom’s death isn’t too difficult for you. Take care. Hugs.

  2. Thank you for your kind wishes Kathy, and for the book suggestion. I will definitely read this.
    I talk to my Mum (and Dad) too, but I’m not sure if they hear me. I would like to think they do, but in these last 2 years, I’ve only dreamt about her twice, the first time I was passing her house and the doors were open, so we stopped and went down the drive to see what was going on, and as we entered the house, she came out from the dining room,wearing a blue top and a pair of check trousers, looking fit and well and 10 years younger.
    I was shocked as I wasn’t expecting to see her there, and I ran over and gave her a huge hug, and started to tell her how much I was missing her, but she just said ” Oh stop being so silly” and walked off back into the kitchen.
    I was so surprised that I woke up, and couldn’t for the life of me, get back in to the dream, sadly.
    I never saw her in the second dream, she was just up the corridor, round the corner, gone out of the room…. just out of sight, talking to my siblings and I was gutted.
    I haven’t got a clue as to what that means dream wise, perhaps a message that she was ok, and not to worry.. I don’t know.
    It’s little things that pop up that remind me now.
    My brothers birthday, Mothers Day, leaving hospital, Easter.. all coming in a rush as we enter the anniverseries of the last 130 days of her life 2 years ago.
    I’ll let you know when I read that book, thanks again for the suggestion Kathy.
    Love n hugs
    xxx

  3. It’s coming up to two years for me Kathy. I still have a lots stuff from her house that is sitting in my back room because I just can’t stand to think about sorting it out and throwing some of it away.
    I’m only just starting to get used to the fact that she isn’t here anymore, and won’t be ever again, especially as mothers day get closer.

    I’m thinking a lot about this time two years ago, and the couple of years before that..oh for a time machine 😦

    I think your words about listening to to your mum are very poignant.
    For many years my mum and I were at logger heads ( and understatement indeed! ) about anything and everything, and I used to dismiss anything she said as not relevant.
    As I got older I realised that what she saying was so very important and like you I started to listen and value ( some ) of her words, and she mine.
    We still argued about silly little stupid things sometimes,but less and less as we got older.
    I would give almost anything to be able to have one last conversation with her.

    I hope your hearthache lessens Kathy, try not to let the dark hand of grief grasp you too tightly, your mum wouldn’t have wanted that.
    love n hugs
    xxx

    • A time machine would be great. There is a lot I would change if I could go back. Hindsight is 20/20, and I see all the mistakes I’ve made. But I can’t dwell on the past, as my life choices have shaped me into who I am today. I would also give anything to be able to talk to my mom one more time. There is much I’d like to say to her. But I do talk to her, tell my mom what’s in my heart and mind, and I believe she hears me. Have you read “For One More Day” by Mitch Albom – I recommend it (https://peace4me521.wordpress.com/2011/12/01/wish-we-could-talk/). I hope as the 2 year anniversary nears that things are not too difficult for you. Take care.

  4. No matter what our age, we will always need our moms. If my one year seems like five, your five must seem like an eternity. Hang in there.

    • Thanks. It’s been 4 years and almost 4 months since I lost my mom. Used to be that it seemed like she was just here, that I could walk into her house and she’d be just around the corner. Now, it feels like she’s been gone for so long. I miss her.


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