Posted by: Kathy | March 12, 2014

Resurrection

When I first saw the previews for the new TV show Resurrection, I wasn’t sure if I would watch it. If I could watch it. The show is based on the dream of many who’ve lost a loved one –the return of someone who has died.

Yesterday, curiosity got the best of me and I watched the first episode of Resurrection on the on-demand channel. By the end of the show I was in tears, watching as a son and daughter were reunited with their father. It wasn’t an easy show for me to watch, as it played on the dreams of my heart and brought back the ache of loss.

What would it be like if I walked into my parents’ house one day to find my mom sitting at the kitchen table, drinking tea and working the crossword puzzle? Healthy. No cancer. Alive. Here again. There are no words to describe the feelings I would have if that actually happened.

Shortly after my mom died, I read the book “The Lovely Bones.” The book is about a girl who was killed and watches her family after her death. She tries to talk to them, connect with them, and make them aware that she is there. It had been recommended by a friend months earlier and when she saw that I was reading the book, it surprised her. She asked me – why are you reading that now? I told her that the book was comforting because maybe my mom was watching us. Months later, I found out that my mom does come to visit her family. Sometimes I know she’s here, other times I don’t. But I’ve learned that if my mom wants me to know she’s here, I will feel her presence. I know my mom hasn’t missed the important events that have occurred over the past 5+ years. She watches over her family, but it’s not the same as her being with us physically to share in all of these life moments.

Will I watch next week’s episode of Resurrection? Probably. Although the show is painful to watch in some ways, interest in the plot will keep me coming back. But isn’t that the point of TV shows, movies, and books? To draw us in, connect us with the characters, play on our dreams and the emotions of our heart, and make us want to come back for more. I hope one day to write a book that does just that.

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Responses

  1. Hi Kathy

    Yesterday when I was sitting in the train to go home, the thought suddenly occurred to me how it would be if in one of the seats ahead of me, a woman turns to look back at me and it is my Mom.
    I was just struck by your comment about how it would be if when you got home…
    Oh, how wonderful that moment would be even if it lasts for just that moment…to see her again… If I could see her one more time…

    I know she is gone but I doubt that I would ever stop to feel a wonder at it all; a pang when I think she is not there… not anywhere… Hardest thing is to tell myself that she will never call me again.
    When she saw us brooding, she would sing out ‘Happy… happy..’. I try to think of it and it makes me smile. I wish she was still here with me. I would hug her more; talk to her more and better yet listen to what she needs to say more.

    I miss her so. I don’t know if I feel her presence yet. How do you know? What is your experience if I could ask you to share? May be I miss it. I have been waiting for her to come to my dreams but she has done that only twice in 249 days!

    Thank you for sharing. Hugs.
    Sandhia

    • Hi Sandhia. Thank you for your comment. Believe me when I tell you that things get easier, the hurt lessens, but you never forget. That’s where I am now. I still talk to my mom and I believe she hears me. I’ve talked to her since she died. When my mom visits, sometimes I know and sometimes I don’t. She left a dime for me and once I smelled her powder. I also found little piles of coins in my 2 year old daughter’s room, confirming that my mom visited my daughter when she’d take a nap. She left the coins where my daughter would never get to them, but I found them when I cleaned the room. If you look at the category “Visiting Angels” you will see all the times my mom has visited. I don’t dream of my mom a lot – I wish I did. I’ve also written about my dreams on my blog.

      Now, I know she’s here by a feeling I get. It’s deep in my chest, my heart, a feeling of complete and unconditional love. It’s hard to explain and it took 5 years to get to this point.

      Talk to your mom. Ask her to leave you something that you’d know it was her. It may take a little while. But your mom will visit. If you want to talk more about this, please email me at peace4me521@yahoo.com. Take care.

  2. Kathy, it’s me wendy, I too wanted to watch this show but just don’t know if I can handle the emotions. I dream of my mom and have not gotten to a place of acceptance, if anything my depression just seems worse at times. Thanks for sharing your experiences. hugs, wendy

    • Hi Wendy. It’s nice to hear from you. I hope you start healing more. Acceptance is very hard. It took me almost 5 years to accept my mom’s death. One day at a time. Take care.

  3. I haven’t seen the show but the premise is very intriguing to me as I too know that my mom has made her presence known to me, even 23 years after her death. (She died 13 years before my dad did.) What’s interesting to me, however, is that I was heavily involved with my father’s caregiving during his Alzheimer’s journey and I have not had any similar feelings of his presence, and he died just 7 years ago. The mysterious ways of the universe don’t need to be understood, I guess.

    • Maybe your dad is making his presence known in a different way. If you ever suddenly think of him, just out of the blue, it usually means he’s visiting you. I feel my mom some of the time, but my grandparents they put images in my mind to make their presence known. I had a feeling they came around (my mom’s parents), so I asked them to do that and then figured out who was who. If the picture of a road near where my grandparents lived pops into my mind it’s my grandfather. If I suddenly think about their old house, it’s my grandmother. So maybe if a thought pops into your mind out of nowhere that is associated with your father, it could be him. I also have specific candles for each of my grandparents and my mother. I light them from time to time to let them know I am thinking of them. Just some thoughts. Take care.


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