Posted by: Kathy | November 1, 2015

I Write Because…

The first Writing 101 assignment is I Write Because…. The purpose of this post is to answer the question why do you write?

I started writing poems at age 15 as an outlet for my feelings. The feelings of teenage angst were expressed in deep and often dark poems, which I didn’t share with anyone. By the time I was 20, I had written over 200 poems. About 10 years ago I found these poems in a box of stuff packed away in the garage. I read through every one, then ripped them into little pieces and burned them. They were my heart and soul and I didn’t want anyone else to read them.

I started writing on a personal level again nearly 7 years ago when I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer. Suddenly, there was a hole in my life I couldn’t fill. An emptiness that echoed in my heart. And so many feelings all hitting me at once. Grief. Sadness. Anger. Pain. Guilt. I spent my days working in my home office and crying alone. I dried my tears when my kids were home because I wanted to be strong for my family. I went through my days like a zombie. I did everything that needed to be done, but I wasn’t really living. I was completely lost and raw with emotion.

One day my husband looked at me and said “write.” He told me to start a blog and created a site for me on his server. I had no idea what a blog was, but I wrote. Six months later I moved my blog to WordPress. I designed what I wanted the blog to look like – the garden at the top of my site is my mom’s – and I wrote. I poured my feelings into words, often writing through a waterfall of tears. I met others who had lost loved ones, and through my blog I found other people who understood exactly what I was feeling. I wasn’t alone. I poured my heart and soul into my blog, and my deepest feelings are here for everyone to see. This site is a tribute to my mom, and I hope to help others dealing with the feelings associated with losing a loved one.

I think of my mom every day in some way, and I still miss her. But with my words and those of others came a sense of peace. I will never “get over” my mom’s death, but my heart is healed. I continue to write personally because it is something I love to do. Writing is my way of truly expressing myself.

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Responses

  1. This is lovely — thank you for sharing your thoughts on why you write. Thanks, too, for joining Writing 101!

    • Thank you!

  2. This is so beautiful dear ❤ ❤
    Is this the first time you're taking writing 101?

    • Thank you. Yes, this is the first time in Writing 101. I did the poetry one for 2 weeks and loved it. So trying again. 😊

      • I took writing101 in September, same tasks as now.
        Good luck ❤ hope you will enjoy it

  3. Oh Kathy! This is beautiful. I’m so glad writing was an outlet that brought you peace and healing. Thank you for being so open and sharing with everyone. I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts! Best of luck in Writing 101 🙂

    • Thank you so much!

  4. Beautiful self-disclosure.:)

    • Thank you. I do a lot of self-disclosing on this blog. But it feels right.


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