Posted by: Kathy | November 6, 2015

A Quote of My Heart

The day 5 assignment for Writing 101 is hook ’em with a quote. This was a difficult decision for me. I am not a quote person. I read quotes. I like them, but then they slip from my mind. There is only one quote I remember and can recite by heart. So the question I wrestled with is do I use the only quote I know by heart, the quote that has remained in my heart for almost 7 years, or choose something different, something new that speaks to me? After much thought and sleeping on it, I decided to use the quote of my heart.

“To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.”

This quote by Thomas Campbell was sent to me almost 7 years ago by a coworker. On November 16, 2008, I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer. The day before her death, my son achieved his black belt in TaeKwonDo. I believe my mom was waiting for this before she let go. As with many people these days, my emails come to my cell phone. I had shared with my coworkers a “proud mom moment,” and it was – after more than 6 grueling hours my son received his black belt at the age of 9. The next day everyone was responding to the email about my son’s accomplishment. The CEO of my company, who was so kind and understanding throughout my mom’s illness, responded to my email. I was sitting in my childhood bedroom as I read his words of congratulations. I couldn’t process anything, so I went to my room to be alone. My mom had just died. He was the first person I told. A few hours later he sent out an email to the staff regarding my loss. The support I received was amazing. Among the emails was this quote.

The quote touched my heart. I used it in my mom’s eulogy, and it has stayed with me all these years. It is truly the only quote I can remember, and I have shared it with many people who have lost loved ones.

My mom is gone physically from this earth, but she lives in the hearts of those who loved her most. Those memories of my heart are the ones I share with my kids, to keep the promise I made to my mom, to keep her memory alive for them. Those memories of my heart are the ones that help me sleep or keep me awake at night. They bring me happiness or a waterfall of tears. Those memories are my mom, the never-ending love she gave to me. A piece of my mom will always live in my heart and that is why this quote means so much to me.

I am in tears as I write this because even after 7 years I miss my mom. I miss the little things she did for me. She was a constant presence in my life, more than I ever realized. Her death created an emptiness that echoed with grief and sadness. It is an emptiness that can’t be filled. True loss.

My dad got a memory leaf for my mom, his soulmate of 36 years. It sits on a tree in the cancer ward of the new hospital that replaced the one my mom spent time in. This leaf bears the quote of my heart.

leaf

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Responses

  1. Oops…siblings. Reading what you wrote had me in tears.

    • It is a quote that will always stay with me. I’m glad you can relate, but I am sorry for your losses. Thanks for commenting.

  2. Thank you for sharing this quote. I have lost both parents and my two

  3. A very touching post, and a wonderful quote!

    • Thank you. And thanks for stopping by and commenting.

  4. Thank you so much for sharing this quote and its meaning to you.I find it very soothing and comforting to read this. I’ve never heard before. Blessings to you!

    • Thanks you. I’m glad you liked the quote. Blessings to you as well.

  5. thank you for sharing the quote and the story behind why you love this quote so much. it made me call my mum immediately to have a long talk ❤ have a good weekend~

    • Thank you so much 😊. Nice to call your mom. Have a wonderful weekend.

  6. Beautiful Post Kathy, well said.

    • Thanks so much 😊

  7. So touching… I am currently at work while reading your post and I tried my tears not to fall because I don’t want to see others that I’m crying. Yet, it really touched my heart. God always be with you Kath.

    • Awe, thank you. May God be with you too

  8. This was really touching to read — it has made my eyes teary. I appreciate you taking this plunge and writing about this quote. Thanks for these thoughtful posts this past week.

    • Thank you. I was conflicted about whether or not to use that quote, but I’m glad I went with my heart. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

  9. Kathy, your post is brilliant! Your words brought tears to my eyes and I am glad you chose the quotation that is close to your heart. Every day we hear words that speak to us, but the ones that are meant for our souls are the ones that stay with us, even after the day is done.

    • Thank you so much. I really struggled with whether or not to use this quote. But because I did I was able to write from the heart. Thanks for commenting.

  10. ❤️🙏 Beautifully written Kathy. So heartfelt.

    • Thank you. I appreciate you stopping by and commenting.

  11. I love the quote. You’re post was perfect–so eloquent–it brought tears to my eyes. I want to run out of my office and hug my mom. I can’t imagine her not being there to receive my panicked “what do I now” calls when I make some culinary mishap or run into a household situation that I’ve never dealt with. Losing my sister was hard but losing a mother I imagine to be the hardest thing of all. Hugs!

    • Thank you. I never knew living without my mom would be so hard, but I think it’s harder because she died so young. The first time I tried to cook one of her famous recipes, I had to call one of her friends to make sure I was doing it correctly. *Hugs*

      • I’d be screwed if I had to make a call for advice to someone else. My aunt and my mom can’t agree on anything, not even the ingredients in marinara sauce! Thank you for the hug.

        • HA! You reminded me of the first Easter I ever hosted at my house. It was the last. I was making a ham – not that hard. But my mother and grandmother were hovering and making suggestions. I kindly kicked them both out the kitchen and it was a nice dinner. Thanks for the memory. P.S. Both my mom and grandmother were incredible cooks, me not so much.

          • same here! I’m glad I brought that to mind. Good memories need to be cherished.

            • They do. My grandparents were hysterical – married 63 years. My mom was a lot like her mom. Me, not so much. I look her, been told I sound like her, but my grandfather’s sarcasm slipped into the mix. LOL

              • That’s awesome. I look like my mom and we both love to read but that’s about it on similarities 🙂

  12. Is the quote suppose to be the first thing presented in this exercise?I miss my mom too,thanks,you helped me visit her again in my head.

    • I’m not sure where the quote should go. I feel mine needed explanation first. I’m sorry you lost your mom and glad to hear this brought her back for you.


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