Posted by: Kathy | November 26, 2015

Happy Thanksgiving, Mom

Dear Mom:

The holidays are so hard without you. I miss you. I miss your decorations. I miss the love you put into everything you did. You were the one who made the holidays special  for all of us, and nothing has been the same since you left us. The holidays don’t have the same feel or mean the same thing to any of us without you. We all miss you deeply.

I remember our first Thanksgiving without you, celebrated a week after your funeral. I think we were all still in shock that you were actually gone. I walked into a dark kitchen and everything felt so different. You weren’t there with your many lists, making sure everything was done. There was no smell of a turkey cooking in the oven. There was no warmth to the house. Your presence and love always filled that house, making it a home. With heavy hearts, we created our first holiday without you.

I think back to the year before. The last holiday we shared together where the word cancer wasn’t in the back of my mind, always wondering how much time I had left with you. The house was filled with your warmth, happiness, and love for everyone. We were a true family, and together we gave thanks and celebrated the day. I remember that day. You were here. You made the day special just by being yourself. Everyone was happy.

Now I am left with a tattoo on my arm in memory of you, an emptiness that remains in my heart, and the constant wish that you were still here. I have moved forward. I have healed. We do celebrate the holidays without you. But they aren’t the same. They are not filled with the same happiness and love. I miss that. I will always miss you.

I thank you for all that you did for me, all that you did for your grandkids. You were one of a kind,  Mom, and I miss you deeply. You taught me the importance of family and I am grateful for the family I do have left. We are small, but we love one another. We carry on your traditions with your memory in our hearts and minds. I should probably know the pumpkin bread recipe by heart after making it for 8 years for Thanksgiving and Christmas. But I always pull out the card and follow your words, written in your handwriting.

I love you, Mom. Thank you for always being there for me. You were a silent force in the background of my life. I knew I could reach out and you would be there. You were never too busy for your family. I didn’t always follow your advice, but I realize now that you were right. You helped me to see what is important in life. I am thankful I could call you my mom and that you raised me with kindness, values, wisdom, and love.

In a few hours we will go to the house where I grew up. The house you made a home for many years. I so wish it was you I would see when I opened that door. But you will be in our hearts. I know you will be watching over your family with love.

Love,

Kathryn

 

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Responses

  1. Aww. I love your words, how you painted the memories, how you expressed grief. It’s always painful to loss someone, but it’s more when it’s your mom. 😦 I know she’s happy to read this, Kathy. 🙂

  2. Thank you for sharing your tender memories, I am all teary-eyed. I still have my Mum here and I call her every single day to tell her I love her; and she loves me back. My Dad passed 14 years ago and I still miss him everyday, especially at the holidays. I send you love and positive thoughts. Blessings.
    .

  3. a beautiful post from the heart for the holidays.

  4. […] Beautiful but painful in the same time: Kathy wrote a very touching letter to her Mom. Thanks Kathy for sharing your thoughts and feeling with us ❤ […]

  5. Dear Kathy, your letter is so beautiful but so painful in the same time. My Mom is still alive but she isn’t young any more. Will be very difficult for me one day. You know what I mean <3. Wish you all tbe best 🙂 .

    • I do know what you mean. My dad is getting older – I see it more and more now. I wish you the best.

  6. God bless her ! May she love in your so sprirts and thank u for who u are today💕

    • Thank you. Happy Thanksgiving.

  7. So sweet and samely so painful. Be Strong and wait for ressurection Act 24:15!

    • Thank you. I am stronger than I appear sometimes, promise you that. I know I will see my mom one day again – I will be reunited with my family. Thank you for the Bible verse. My favorite is John 14:27.

      • Good!


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