When my son was much younger, my mom often read him the book “No Matter What.” It’s a cute story about how a mother will always love her child…no matter what. The book now lives in my daughter’s bookcase. I read it to her many times when she was little, but now she’s too old and reads on her own. There are just some books I can’t part with, even though my kids have long outgrown them. These are stories my mother read to my children and they remind me of the love she had for her family.
I was sitting here and the words “no matter what” just popped into my mind. I know I’ve been very quiet on my blog lately. My mom has been gone for more than 6 years. I’ve come through those dark, dark days where all I could do was cry. And although each thought is no longer consumed by my mom’s loss, there will never be a day I don’t think of her in some way…no matter what.
No matter what, I will always appreciate everything my mom did for me.
No matter what, my mom’s memory will live on in my heart and mind.
No matter what, I will share memories of my mom with my children.
No matter what, I will never stop wishing my mom was still here with us.
No matter what, I will always love my mother.
So even though I haven’t been blogging lately, my mom is close to me. There are still times I cry for her – something happens and I need my mom. I wish she were here to talk to or comfort me. There are days when I think of how different our lives would be if my mom were still here. My silence in writing does not mean I have forgotten my mom or that I don’t miss her anymore. It just means that I’ve made peace with her death. Peace allows me to remember my mom the way she would want to be remembered, with happiness and love. I still have bad days, but they are becoming less and less.
On January 2nd, I got a tattoo in memory of my mom – a purple ribbon for pancreatic cancer, angel wings in blue (my mom’s favorite color), and the words peace and mom. I’ve always wanted a tattoo, but I never knew what I wanted. Then one day it came to me. A lasting tribute to my mom.
I wish everyone peace of heart and mind.